I don’t like being considered “funny”.  Because funny is so damned subjective.  Anyway, my stories are stories first, comedy second.  I’m not trying to be wacky or goofy or madcap.  I’m just writing offbeat fantasy that appeals to me.  Personally, I think it’s some truly original stuff, and, if I don’t mind indulging my own ego just for a wee moment, it’s more absurdist pastiche of the fantasy genre with elements of integrated realism.  Now if someone could figure out how to summarize that in a pithy phrase on a book cover, I might be in business.

Those Geico caveman commercials have crossed the line.  They were a mildly cute idea, but they’ve been around so long that I’ve actually developed some sympathy for the poor cavemen.  I know I’d be pretty pissed if Geico put up billboards declaring, “So easy, even a Mexican can do it!”  And, yeah, I know cavemen aren’t walking the streets, but still . . . it’s time to leave the cavemen in peace, guys.

Advice to all aspiring writers.  When you finally do make it, be very, very careful with your money.  Because, for better or worse, prompt payment just doesn’t happen.  I’m not complaining.  I understand that this is just how the business works.  But everything moves in slow motion in this business.  You have been warned.

 A zombie comic is a zombie comic is a zombie comic.  Just because you give the zombie a power ring and make them zombies from space, it doesn’t change anything.  And that’s fine.  Just don’t try to tell me it’s not.

More advice for aspiring writers:  You do not have the luxury of being shy.  I know.  You think you can write your brilliant novel, get it published, and just rake in the cash.  And maybe you can.  But J.D. Salinger aside, almost all succesful writers are personable, affable people.  From J.D. Rowling to Stephen King, Tom Clancy to Yours Truly, being comfortable talking to strangers is part of the job.

How many strong nurse shows do we need?

Most terrans have a weak grasp of science, and that’s a shame.  The universe is remarkably counter-intuitive, and our default “logic” usually leads us down the wrong road.  Biology, physics, medicine, and economics.  These are just a few of the areas where most everything you innately “know” is just plain wrong.  But here’s the good news.  You live in the information age, gang.  You don’t have the same excuse to dwell in ignorance.  Make friends with science today.

Speaking of dwelling in ignorance, can we put to rest the birther conspiracy theory already?  It’s an outright lie that Obama wasn’t born in America.  (Funnily enough, John Mccain was born in Panama, but nobody seems to bring that up.  Probably because it’s a technicality that is completely irrelevant.)  I get that some people can be a little uneasy with a dark-skinned man as President (and if you want to believe that this rumor doesn’t rely on certain racial intolerances that’s your perogative), but just because you don’t like something, doesn’t make it not true.

We’re definitely in a transitional moment.  A black President?  (Okay, half-black but still that’s 50 percent more than any previous Prez.)  A latina Supreme Court judge?  There’s no doubt that we’re moving closer toward that melting pot we’ve always claimed to be, and for a certain group of people, that scares the crap out of them.  If I hear one more rich, white male bemoaning about racism . . .

I get it.  Nobody likes losing power.  And the white male dominance of America has lasted a long, long time.  You had a good run.  Now get over it. 

On the positive side, these moments of “oppressed white victimhood” are becoming increasingly ludicrous.  And most people of all arbitrary racial distinctions seem perfectly comfortable with the changes.  And why shouldn’t they be?  It’s not the end of the world.  Hell, it’s not even a big change.

My favorite moment of white man’s outrage was when a white senator asked Sotomayor if she understood his discomfort with the notion that maybe her Latina background might prejudice her against white people.  And I found myself thinking:  A minority woman?  No, there’s no way she possibly ever had to deal with as much racial prejudice as a wealthy white senator.

And on that note of sarcasm, I think I’ll end this collection of random thoughts.

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,


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  1. Posted July 31, 2009 at 9:39 am | Permalink

    I find your work sujectively funny. And cleverly humorous. One problem with page-turner: they are always too short.

    Yes: “Make friends with science today.” Adopt-a-scientist.

    And “…a white senator asked Sotomayor if she understood his discomfort with the notion that maybe her Latina background might prejudice her against white people.” Like his own white background prejudices him against non-whites.

  2. alanna7
    Posted August 3, 2009 at 1:03 am | Permalink

    I have read another one of your books (totally loved it) and yeah its funny, but thats not exactly how I would describe it when I recomend (which I have done so multile times) it to someone. I really like the way you right and I really like your stories, but I have not really read any books that are like yours.
    I was wondering do you have any books that you recomend?
    Also I agree about the racism thing exspecially in this day and age, but a majority of people are racist or prejudice to some exent and thats probably not going to change. It does not always mean skin color or your money class, but eveyone is prejudice to someone or some type of person. Me personally I dont care if you are pink with yellow polka dots and like to wear a tutu on your head, but even though I am a dog person and I have my own pack of them I dont like th dog park regulars. They are just too weird and “cat lady” freakish with their “kids”

  3. jonquest
    Posted August 18, 2009 at 1:26 am | Permalink

    “How many strong nurse shows do we need?” – FTW. I roll my eyes every time I see a Mercy commercial on NBC.

    Oh, and you might just want to enjoy the fact that if you make people laugh, they will probably consider you “funny.” It may not describe all the subtle nuances, but most people I know enjoy “funny.” I wouldn’t worry about fighting that one and just let it be a good starter.

  4. Posted December 7, 2009 at 4:31 pm | Permalink

    I’ll follow up with alanna7’s comment and say that your books, which I find to be very funny, would be forgettable without the good stories that back them up. This isn’t hyperbole or fanboy gushing, either; I’m a harsh critic of the stuff I read, and what I look for in anything I read is story. I have thoroughly enjoyed all of the your stories I’ve read, up through The Automatic Detective, and I look forward to more good stories with a wacky sense of humor attached to them. I expect not to be disappointed!

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