Gone Fishing (short fiction)

Super Janine


Bringing Dementra, Warrior Queen of Galadron, had been my first mistake. My second had been telling her to leave the power armor behind. In it, she was seven feet of intimidating alien warlord. Out of it, she was a bubble gum pink space princess with the body of Jessica Rabbit. The young man behind the counter couldn’t take his eyes off her as she picked through novelty T-shirts.

“What about this one?” She held up a Who farted? shirt. “Is this suitably amusing?”

“Hilarious,” I replied as I set the six pack on the counter.

The clerk rang me up. “I know her. Isn’t she that space amazon who came to conquer the Earth?”

“That’s her.”
“She’s part of that superhero team in the city, isn’t she?” He noticed me for the first time. “Hey, you’re that lady, aren’t you?”

I lowered my sunglasses. I’d made a dozen trips out to the lake and hadn’t been recognized yet. I didn’t have a secret identity. Who bothered anymore? But I was only five five and if I let my hair down, most people didn’t put it together.

“I’m that lady,” I said. “Just the beer, please.”

“Yeah, sure.” He sized me up. “So how strong are you?”

“Strong enough.”

“Like how many cars can you lift? One? Two? Didn’t you throw a bus one time?”

I had, in fact, thrown several buses over the course of my career. And things bigger.

“Just the beer, please,” I repeated.

Dementra dropped a T-shirt emblazoned with the phrase Female Body Inspector. “And this.”

I peeled off twenty bucks and handed it to the clerk. I wasn’t sure the shirt would even fit her. She had a ridiculous pair of tits, made even more ridiculous once you knew she wasn’t a mammal.

We paid and left before he could ask any more questions.

“Have I done something wrong?” asked Dementra as we got into my car.

“Other than being you, no. And you can’t really help that.”

The lake was probably ruined for me. I came out here to get away from it, and now, everyone knew. If I was lucky, they’d forget about me. My physique wasn’t as impressive as Dementra’s. I was in solid shape, but I’d never gotten down to zero body fat. I didn’t look great in tights, which was why I was thankful that trend had died before I’d become a superhero.

But people didn’t usually forget once they put it together. It wouldn’t be long before people started asking for demonstrations. It was always cars. The most common being to pick up an automobile while posing with them.

“You forgot the bait,” said Dementra. “Don’t we need it to fish?”

“We’re not fishing,” I said. “We’re just here to relax.”

“As you said, but how does one relax without exerting dominance over the forces of nature?”

“You’ll see. The cabin is just down the road. We’ll sit by the lake, enjoy the quiet. Read a book.”

“Sounds boring.”

“You’re the one who wanted to come along.”

“I was hoping for a bonding experience,” said Dementra. “On Galadron, boon warrior companions such as ourselves would enter the pit, fighting until one of us yields or dies.”

“This is Earth. We sit by a lake and talk.”

“If such is your custom.”

“Boon warrior companions, huh?” I asked.

“I believe the Earthling equivalent is Besties?” said Dementra.

I chuckled. She did drive me crazy at times, but wasn’t that the nature of friendship.

A cop knocked on my window. I rolled it down.

“Problem officer?”

“No, ma’am, but my partner and I were just wondering if you’d do us a favor?”

The cop’s buddy stood by their cruiser with the flashing lights while another officer stood aside with a camera at the ready.

“My pleasure, officer,” I said as I stepped out of the car.

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  1. thebibliomancer
    Posted April 15, 2015 at 8:15 pm | Permalink

    I’m really digging these Super Janine stories.

  2. Steven Dan
    Posted August 1, 2016 at 3:02 pm | Permalink

    The fact that Dementra wasn’t even a mammal made me laugh out loud!

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