Writing is Weird. Tentacle Monster Weird.

Before I forget, I should mention I was recently on www.madworldradio.com.  It’s half an hour, and I really enjoyed being on the show.  So drop on by and listen to me wax poetic about e-books and writing.

Next topic:

Writing is weird.  I just noticed that five of my novels are available on Audible.com.  You’d think I’d be up-to-speed on this sort of thing, but I’m not very good at keeping track of it.  So I listened to samples of the books, and if there’s anything weirder than getting paid to make up stories, it’s hearing someone get paid to read the stories you make up. 

I’ll admit that I still get confused by this sometimes.  I am a professional writer, a novelologist.  When I sit down at my computer and write a scene where a robot detective punches a mutant in the face, I’m doing my job.  It’s how I pay my bills.   It’s what makes me semi-sorta-almost-famous-ish.  And it’s doubtful you would be reading this right now if I wasn’t a writer who managed to catch a lot of lucky breaks.

At times, it’s like being the guy who tastes ice cream for a living.  I’m sure it’s not always a great job.  I’m sure there are times he just doesn’t feel like tasting ice cream.  And, like any job, if you’re going to be good at it, you have to take it seriously.  But in a world where so many people have jobs because they NEED them, not because they WANT them, even a lousy day of tasting ice cream beats the hell out of most anything else.

Thanks for letting me be the ice cream guy, gang.

Next topic:

If there are two things I love in this universe, it’s robots and tentacle monsters.  My wife even bought me a T-shirt with a robot fighting a tentacle monster on it.  And it is awesome.

This is how I can tell how much I disliked the last Transformers film.  Because the new one might have a dinobot in it, and yet, I don’t care.  Yes, the live action Transformers film has done the impossible.  It’s made me apathetic about dinobots.  And that’s quite an accomplishment.

Speaking of robots fighting robots, have you seen the trailer for the new Hugh Jackman film Real Steel?  I have no idea what the plot is about.  All I know is that it’s something about giant boxing robots.  So that’s really all I need to know.

Of all my books, the one I’d most likely write a sequel to, given my druthers, would be The Automatic Detective.  I like the world, the characters, and, of course, our robotic protagonist Mack Megaton himself.  Not that I plan on writing a sequel to that anytime soon.  And when I do finally write a sequel to something, it’d probably be with something with Orbit.

Oh, yeah.  Just in case you haven’t heard, Divine Misfortune is out in mass market paperback.  If you were waiting for that, you should buy it.  And my new novel Chasing the Moon comes out at the end of May.  It’ll be hardcover, but if you don’t have the patience to wait for mass market, you should buy it.  You’ll be glad you did.

What’s Moon about?  It’s complicated.  The basic premise is that Diana ends up with an apartment of monster roommates.  Reality is an illusion.  Everything we believe is wrong, and that a vast and uncaring universe doesn’t make sense to anyone.  Not even monsters from beyond.

It’s a fun read.  Really.  I promise.  Odds are good that if you’ve read one or two of my previous books, you like what I write.  So I feel confident in saying you’ll probably like this one too.  It does have a tentacle monster eating the moon, and as previously established, tentacle monsters are wicked cool.

It’s also my eighth book.  And that’s weird.  Is it too soon to have a retrospective of my career at this point?  It still feels strange to even use the term career.  Yet novelology is my career, and it’s doing good by me so far.  I don’t know where I’ll be in five years.  Maybe I’ll still be plugging along in my obscure little corner of tentacle monsters and giant fightin’ robots.  Or maybe I’ll be an international sensation, beloved by millions, flying across the world in my private jet with my solid gold robot butlers.  Who knows?

All I can say is that I’m glad to be here.  And when you can say that, you’re ahead in the game.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s late, and I need to go to bed.  Catch you later, gang.

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,


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