Have I mentioned I don’t like Christmas? Because I don’t. And it’s not because I’m against peace on Earth, goodwill toward my fellow Terrans, or even a little bit of healthy capitalism. I’m not religious, so it doesn’t do much for me in that way, but I don’t care if other people want to celebrate the birth of their savior by killing a tree and throwing gift cards at each other. And if we want to live our life according to a schedule set down by ancient tradition, I guess I don’t see the harm in being the meat puppets of the dead.
I think this is coming out wrong.
I don’t hate Christmas, although I do hate certain elements of it. I hate the billion and one versions of A Christmas Carol we have to put up with, every single year. I hate the music. It’s sappy and sentimental and just oh so repetative. I hate that I have to give up a month of my life, every year, to commercials with Santa Claus selling everything from radios to dishwashing detergent. And I hate watching people run around, putting so much damn pressure on themselves.
Okay. Strike two. Let’s give it one more shot.
There are good things about Christmas. Unfortunately, for me, all those good things seem to stem from children. Christmas is like the circus for me. I could go my whole life without ever seeing another circus. But when you go to a circus with a child, it’s all fun and new and exciting. It’s wondrous. And that’s something I can get behind. I’m sure when I have children myself, Christmas will be cool. But for adults…I just don’t get it.
Well, I get the time off aspect. It’s always nice to get some time off from work, but as a professional novelologist, I set my own hours. Which is very convenenient and tends to lessen the importance of holidays. I highly recommend it, if you ever get the chance to do the same.
Maybe it’s just programming. When we’re young, Christmas is something to look forward to (if we’re lucky), and we end up carrying that feeling with us into our adult lives. But it seems ridiculous for adults to do this. Why buy each other gifts when we’ll probably just end up buying the wrong thing? I’m not against gift giving. I’m just against the notion that someone decided that we have to give gifts to each other at a predesignated point in time and if we don’t, then we’re not in “the spirit of the season”.
I just don’t like Christmas, and I reject the notion that it makes me a Scrooge to say that. It doesn’t make me heartless or cruel to say that Christmas is annoying. And that it only gets more annoying as it spreads itself across the calender like some amorphous, glutunous blob-monster. I could handle it when it was a month. But now Christmas seems to start before Halloween, and this, I refuse to accept. Maybe when Christmas gets back to after Thanksgiving, where it belongs, I’ll be more forgiving. But as long as 1/6th of my year has to be swallowed up by the dreaded holiday season, I can only say what needs to be said as the last sane man.