Haven’t been blogging lately because it’s not always easy to come up with interesting topics.  I know some folks are just happy blogging about any ol’ thing, but I am an important person.  This comes with important person responsibilities.  Like being interesting.  And fighting mummies.  Since I fought mummies just last night (FYI: I won), I guess I’ll try to be interesting today.

As my novelology career continues to grow, I ponder the perils and perks of fame and fortune.  On the plus side, I get to meet people who are nice to me just because I’m famous.  I also get a magic sword that makes fighting mummies a hell of a lot easier.  If you’ve ever tried fighting a mummy without a magic sword, you know what I’m talking about.  On the downside, I find increasingly a wall between me and the ordinary people that make up the bulk of our world’s population.

Granted, I am not really that famous and my fortune isn’t going to pay for that solid gold robot polish I need.  (Jeeves-3000 is looking a bit tarnished of late.)  But even in a cosmic scale, where I am but a speck of dust floating beneath the all-recording optical sensor of The Mighty Robot King, I still am more famous than most people who are reading this right now.  Probably.  Maybe.  Or maybe I’m just delusional.  Just play along in any case.

I’m in a delicate stage right now.  I am just successful enough that many people think of me as being something special, but I’m also obscure enough that most people haven’t heard of me.  On the one hand, this keeps me humble.  On the other, it elevates me in a way I don’t always like.  There are newer members of my writer’s group who never got a chance to meet Alex Martinez, the aspiring writer.  They only know A. Lee Martinez, world-renowned novelologist and mummy fighter.  As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve only been a published writer for a few years now.  I was an aspiring writer much longer.  And when I finally as accepted for publication, there was much rejoicing in my group because everyone knew what a long, hard road it had been.  Now it’s just assumed that I am going to make a living doing this.  When I present something at the DFWWW, it’s assumed that it is going to be published at some point.  This isn’t a bad assumption, but it changes the dynamic of the situation.

Assuming something of mine does eventually become a movie (a big assumption, but more and more possible each passing day) there will come a time when I leap from obscurity (“I’ve never heard of you”) to less obscurity (“You’re the guy who wrote the book that movie was based on?”).  While I do look forward to this possibility, I also realize that this will present a whole new dynamic to my relations with the little people.  It’s not a change I’m particularly looking forward to.

Fame and fortune come at a heavy price, gang.

Do me a favor and just remember that, underneath it all, I’m just a guy who gets paid to make up stories.  The only thing special about me is that I’ve got a talent for it, I didn’t give up, and an ungodly amount of luck.  And of those three things, I rank them (in order of importance) as Luck, Persistence, and Talent.  And I think I’m probably overestimating talent’s importance.

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

Honestly, I don’t know the answer to any of those questions.  Writing is weird like that.  I write things.  I get paid.  Even if it doesn’t prove I’m good at it, proves that at least I can keep a roof over my head doing it.  And I get positive feedback on this blogging stuff.  Of course, that’s kind of a self-selecting audience.  Very few people take the time to post a comment telling me how obnoxious I am although I’m sure those folks are out there, too.

But ignoring those people and going by the checks that go into my bank account and the positive comments on my blogs and even the occasional real life person who says they read something of mine and liked it, I’ve got something going on here.  Some, dare I say it, talent.  (I dared.)

I hate that word though because it takes my job and makes it seem magical.  When really all I do is sit down in front of a computer and make up stories.  Anybody can do it.  Not anybody can do it well, but that doesn’t prevent a lot of bad writers from getting paid and getting paid well.  (Insert your favorite successful, untalented writer of choice here.)

That’s something I never forget.  No matter how good a writer I think I am, no matter how many people adore me (and while it’s not really that many people, it sure is a lot more than I ever expected), I could stink on ice.  I could be one of those bad but financially viable writers I make fun of.  Irony can be a real pain in the ass, huh?

Oh, and don’t bother telling me how great I am.  While it’s nice to hear, I’m not fishing for compliments.  Also, you might be one of those people with really bad taste that help encourage bad writers.  Either way, I thank you for indulging me because I’m a great writer, an adequate juggler, and a generally cool dude, but I’d probably be loading boxes on the night shift at UPS right now if it wasn’t for you.

Moving on . . .

So in addition to being a (disgruntled) comic book fan.  I’m also a game player.  I don’t know exactly when it happened, but somewhere, I crossed the line from hobbyist to full-blown enthusiast.  I know game companies the same way people know car manufacturers.  I even follow some game designers the same way movie afficianados follow directors.

(FYI:  Bruno Faidutti has yet to make a bad game.  Ad Astra is a current favorite among my small gaming group.)

If such a thing is even possible, game designers are even more obscure than novelologists.  While everyone has heard of Stephen King and Daniel Steele, who knows the name of the guy who designed Sorry?

Even the hobby is difficult to explain.  When people find out that you play games, they usually get this perplexed look on their face and say “Like Monopoly?”  Then I close my eyes and shake my head.

“Kinda. . . ”

I’ve pretty much given up on trying to explain it because unless you’ve experienced the joy of Heroscape, Monsterpocalypse, or Citadels, you just ain’t gonna get it.

And finally . . .

Godzilla would totally kick King Kong’s ass.  Don’t try denying it.  One is a huge, city destroying, radiaoctive, fire-breathing dinosaur.  The other is a big ape that couldn’t even climb a single building without getting shot down like a chump.

Biplanes?  Seriously?  That’s weak.  So until you get laser vision or the power to regenerate, Kong, you should probably stay out of the big leagues.  Just a suggestion.

And on that controversial note, I bid you all a good night.

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

I don’t know if my regular readers have noticed this or not, but I tend to spend an unusual amount of time bemoaning the quality of modern comic books.  A big part of this, I’ll admit, is simply coming from a different era.  Everybody tends to like things they grew up with more than is reasonable.  But it’s also because comics are kind of lame now.

Let’s be fair though.  When I complain about modern comics, I’m actually complaining about modern superhero comics because those are what I like.  Those are what I prefer to read.  There are some great non-superhero comics out there, but, honestly, I’m just not interested most of the time in these.  I hear the accolades for Fables, The Walking Dead, 100 Bullets, etc, and while I don’t dislike them, I find nothing particularly appealing about them.  Nope.  For better or worse, when I think of comics, I think of superheroes.

And when I think of superheroes, I think in broad terms.  Good versus evil.  Surreal.  Melodramatic.  Inventive.  (Things I prefer not to think of but tend to pop up:  zombies, morality plays, rape.  But I digress.)  While there’s no reason for a lack of subtlety, there’s also nothing wrong with remembering that these are stories about people in strange costumes fighting other people in strange costumes, usually employing bizarre powers and signature gimmicks.  And, yes, Batman fans.  This applies just as much to your vaunted “realistic” superhero as anyone.  Unless you happen to know of any clowns in purple tuxedos who have access to a gas that makes you laugh until you die with a permanent smile left on your face.

But enough of my redundant, overstated comic book criticism.  Let’s actually get to the review.

REVIEW BEGINS HERE:

Green Lantern: First Flight is a terrific animated film.  While it is indeed a bit bloodier and grittier than I generally prefer, it never panders and always entertains.  I am not a Green Lantern fan.  I like the idea, like his powers.  But in comics, I just haven’t read a Green Lantern story that thrilled me.  But First Flight makes me realize that he can be awesome.

Superhero stories should be defined by action.  Anyone who says otherwise has no truck with me.  Superheroes and supervillains are not about talking.  They’re about leaping into adventure and kicking butt.  First Flight soars on this level.  The action is fantastic, thrilling, inventive, and just plain cool.  Green Lantern is one of those characters that thrives with clever writing.  And when you watch Hal Jordan pound a giant orb of death with an even more giant glowling green baseball bat, you know you’re watching something incredible.

Of course, writing is important.  It’s not just about punching bad guys in the face.  The writing in First Flight is rock solid.  The story isn’t groundbreaking, but it doesn’t need to be.  Too often, “subtle” writing is just a code word for “overly complicated” and “dull”.  But First Flight manages to keep its story going while investing in its characters and world.  Sinestro is a bizarrely sympathetic, ruthless, and classic villain.  (He’s like Tai Lung from Kung Fu Panda in that way.)  You aren’t going to like Sinestro, but you are going to respect him.  And when he is finally defeated (hope that’s not giving anything away that the bad guy loses), you are glad to see him get his just desserts.

Can I also take a moment here to mention how fantastic the animation is in this movie?  It is unbelievable.  From the body language and character design to the thrilling action sequences and quiet moments.  This is quality from top to bottom.

Also, Kilowog is in this, and Kilowog will always be the best Green Lantern in my universe.  (P.S. If you’re ever looking for someone to write a Kilowog min-series, DC, you know where to find me.)

First Flight is a solid sci fi superhero adventure.  If you’re not familiar with Green Lantern, you don’t need to be.  And if you are a Lantern fan . . . well . . . hard to say there.  I’ve heard some fans complain about the film, and I’m not one myself (as previously noted) so that’s a toss up.

Listen, I think we can all agree that I’m a great writer and therefore, must have great taste.  So check out Green Lantern: First Flight.  Watch space cops with magic rings fight evil alien crime lords for the fate of the universe.  And if that doesn’t sound cool to you . . . I gotta say we live in very different worlds.

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

So I have opinions, and, yes, I’m mildly famous.  Yes, I am a world-renowned novelologist.  And, yes, I have a solid gold robot butler and a machine that can create eclipses (solar and lunar) that I keep in a box under my bed.  But does this mean that my opinions are more valid than your Average Joe’s?

Yes.

Yes, it does.

(Okay, probably not.  But this is the internet age, and one of the cool things about that is every nitwit and numbskull with access to a computer can post his random thoughts onto the cosmic ether and pretend like it’s NOT an exercise in self-indulgence.  Anyway, I’m a writer, right?  I’m supposed to write.  And I try to make a habit of posting on this site to keep people coming back because that’s what you’re supposed to do.  Although if you want to just skip this stuff and just buy my books, I don’t mind.  Really, I don’t.)

And, so, I introduce a new semi-regular feature (meaning whenever the hell I need to post something and have nothing else on my mind).  It’s called “OVERRATED / UNDERRATED”.  And if you can’t figure out the premise from the title alone then keep reading.  You’ll figure it out.

VIDEO GAMES

HALO is OVERRATED: Admission.  I haven’t really played Halo.  Just a little bit here and there, a few minutes.  Enough to know that Halo is a fun game, but also, that it’s a first person shooter, a genre that I never really got.  Maybe I’m just old school but every FPS seems to revolve around centering your camera on something you want to shoot and then pressing a button until it dies.  Repeat until you finish the game.  But, honestly, couldn’t something similar be said for nearly any video game?

Still, Halo is not the Holy Grail of video games.  It’s not the greatest thing since sliced bread.  It’s just a solid FPS with a lot of hype behind it.  Master Chief is not a compelling character.  The guy is just a generic suit of space armor and, as someone somewhere once observed, his character in the game is little more than a hand holding a gun.  While I’ve heard that the multiplayer aspect of the game can be fun (and I’m sure it is) this is still just a generic sci-fi shooter with a generic badass hero and a generic alien menace.  None of which means the game is bad, but all of which means that it’s still not breaking any new ground.  It’s not bad.  It’s just overrated.

RATCHET AND CLANK is UNDERRATED: And when I say underrated, I don’t mean unappreciated.  Heck, this has produced a long line of sequels and obviously they’re still selling because a new one is being released sometime in the future.  And that’s because Ratchet and Clank kicks butt.  This is one of those games that doesn’t get nearly as much respect as it deserves because a certain segment of “hardcore” gamers can’t stand anything too cartoony or colorful or with a sense of humor.

And that’s what makes the Ratchet and Clank series shine.  Where Master Chief is just an interchangeable hand with a gun in it, Ratchet and Clank are genuine characters.  Where Master Chief faces placeholder aliens with vague motivations that are entirely incidental, Ratchet faces colorful villains.  Where Halo in every bit of advertising I’ve ever seen makes this game seem like I’m actually being drafted for an actual intergalactic war, Ratchet and Clank knows it’s a game.  And it doesn’t hide from that.

Ratchet and Clank is about blowing stuff up and taking names and running around levels, fighting toony robots and alien henchmen.  And weapons.  Lots and lots of weapons.  The carnage unleashed in Ratchet and Clank would be horrifying if it weren’t so gosh-darned charming.  And the characters?  By the Matrix of Leadership, I love the characters.  Every one of them is full of life.  Even the most minor supporting character seems more fully realized and three-dimensional than anything I’ve ever seen from Halo.

Look.  I like Ratchet and Clank.  I like the games.  I like the look.  I like the characters.  And if that keeps me from being hardcore, I guess I’ll have to live with it.

MOVIES

THE DARK KNIGHT is OVERRATED: Yeah, I’ve covered this before, but since a lot of data previously posted was deleted recently, I’d really like to restate, for the record, how dumb and annoying this film is.  It’s stuff like this that fuels the hate in my love/hate relationship with Batman.  Because there are so many writers, well-intentioned or not, who think that if you don’t make a Batman story that’s ultra-serious and ultra-dark that it isn’t Batman.  But that usually misses the point of the whole superhero genre in general, which, no matter how dark and grim you want to make it, is still about people in funny costumes beating each up.  I could go over the film’s many sins in detail, but why bother?  If you loved The Dark Knight, you’ll just disagree.  And if you agree, why preach to the choir?

Okay, maybe a little preaching.

The Joker is an all-powerful psychic with an ability to predict what everyone everywhere will do at all times in all situations.  Batman doesn’t seem to be much of a detective, instead resorting to a sci-fi gimmick so outlandish, it pretty much destroys every semblance of “realism” the film works so hard to establish.  The fall of Harvey Dent / Two-Face is contrived, even for comic book melodrama.  And about half the scenes end before they’re really over.  Oh, and the final sacrifice Batman must make, it’s not only stupid.  It’s downright insulting to all of us as human beings.  (Message: People don’t need to know things.  The best thing you can do to protect people is to keep information from them.  It’s not taking away people’s rights to make informed decisions, good or bad.  It’s being “heroic!”)

Now none of that probably matters to most people, but I can still prove that this movie doesn’t “get” Batman.  And nobody in their right mind can disagree with me.  It’s all about the dogs.  In an early scene in the movie, Batman is attacked by dogs, and it’s a bit  of trouble for him.  I can buy that.  He hasn’t been Batman long.  He can’t prepare for everything.  The first time someone pulled kryptonite on Superman, I bet he was taken by surprise too.

But the second time in the same movie Batman is attacked by dogs, he has just as much trouble.  And that’s just absurd.  That’s just stupid.  Because I guarantee you that if Batman was attacked by dogs, he’d go home and build a gadget or read a book on handling dogs.  He’d do something.  He’d be prepared because, y’know, that’s just kind of logical.  Otherwise, every criminal in the city is going to just figure out to have dogs with him and Batman would stop being scary pretty damn quick.

“Boss, Batman is here.”

“Again?  Release the hounds.”

Think it’s a nitpick?  Maybe.  But I do know that I’d be more forgiving of the film’s many flaws if it at least had the sense to make Batman smart enough to prepare for a second dog attack in the same damn movie.

TRANSFORMERS is UNDERRATED: Yes, I’m saying it.  Kind of weird, I know.  Considering it made millions of dollars at the box office, and that the sequel seems to have done pretty well too.  But I’m going on record as saying that the first movie, while not nearly as great as it should’ve been, is also not nearly as stupid as most people think it is.  It is about shape-changing robots from outer space, and that is ridiculous.  But that’s the central premise of the film, and every sci-fi / fantasy premise is ridiculous.  That’s the central conceit of sci-fi / fantasy.  Lord of the Rings might be “high fantasy” or “allegory” or whatever you want to call it, but it’s basically a story about an evil wizard with an army of monsters who chases little people around a make-believe world in search of an all-powerful knick knack.  The Matrix is a video game.  That’s the entire premise of the movie, for crying out loud.  Neo is really, really, really good at video games.  That’s his superpower.  So don’t tell me that space robots are too stupid to take seriously, because you’ve pretty much destroyed the sci-fi genre, and since that’s where I make my bread and butter, I’m not going to knock it.  Plus, most of my stories are at least as stupid in principle as shape-shifting space robots, and I’d like to think they have something worthwhile going on beneath the sci fi / fantasy nutiness.

Of course, it’s not the robots that hold Transformers back.  It’s Michael Bay because bashing Michael Bay is fun.  Heck, even Michael Bay does it.  And then he goes home and laughs and laughs and laughs on his giant piles of money.  It’s true that Bay is not a master storyteller.  It’s true that he does enjoy explosions more than is healthy.  Maybe.  Not quite convinced of that myself, but it’s possible.  But if there’s anyone who should be making a giant robot spectacle, Michael Bay would be among my first choices.

By the way, nothing I’m going to say in Transformers’ defense actually applies to the second movie, which is nearly everything Bay is knocked for.

But Transformers has a good story.  Not complicated.  Not difficult.  Rudimentary in its plot construction, but it gets the job done, and usually has the sense to stay out of the way.  It has good characters.  Sometimes, they step over the line into sitcom territory, but usually, they manage to stay on the right side of that line.  It has fairly good pacing.  Not perfect.  It lags in the middle, but the same could be said for The Dark Knight.  And the cinematography is too stylish, working too hard to remind us how cool this movie is supposed to be when really, it’s about giant shape-changing robots from outer space and that should be cool enough.

And they are.  While most of the Autobots don’t get much screen time (and the Decepticons even less), the film still manages to infuse them with life.  Usually it’s done in a fairly subtle way.  That’s right.  I said, subtle, and I’m sticking with it.  Because to me, subtle writing is found in creating characterization via action.  And since most of the Transformers are only defined by their actions, this is the only way to really illustrate their characters.  In particular, the action scenes really shine.  Whether it’s Ironhide charging forward like a reckless bull or Bumblebee employing robo-aikido or Bone Crusher, his cruel Decepticon nature to smash compelling him to madly (and foolishly) charge right into Optimus Prime, each character fights with his own unique characterization.  Even the military has its own style that contributes to the action.

Starscream is a favorite of mine in the film.  He employs hit and run tactics, deception, and just an all around sneakiness one would expect from the devious second-in-command of the Decepticons.  He also drops the ball on occasion too because he’s too busy watching his own back.  But that’s Starscream for you.

There are other things that keep the movie from being great, but it is not nearly as stupid or explosion-oriented as most people have decided.  Probably because it’s a Bay movie about space robots built around a line of toys.  But it is good, and that’s all I’m trying to say.

Now the second film…feel free to bash that one all you want.  I don’t think it’s terrible, but it ain’t that good, and even space robots can’t quite redeem it.  Athough Optimus does kick a lot of ass.  So that’s something at least.