Recently, I tweeted that I’d like to write a story with either Marvel’s Squirrel Girl or DC’s Killowog.  And I really, really would.  This is rare for me,  as I don’t aspire to write stories for characters I didn’t create.  I love Superman, Batman, the mighty Thor, but I have no real interest in writing anything with them.  (Although if someone at DC or Marvel thinks I’d be a good fit, I wouldn’t rule it out immediately.)

I think the appeal of Squirrel Girl and Killowog for me is that neither character has had a lot written about them.  This gives me a little more room to maneuver, to write my own story without having to worry about previous continuity and interpretations of the characters. 

For those who don’t know, Squirrel Girl is a comedic superhero in the Marvel universe with squirrel powers (of course).  The joke about Squirrel Girl is that she is the greatest superhero in the Marvel universe, despite her innocuous powers and personality.  She’s endlessly cheerful.  Her sidekick is a squirrel.  And she routinely kicks the butts of world-shattering villains.

Killowog isn’t a comedic character.  He’s just a Green Lantern.  But he’s usually portrayed as a no-nonsense guy who just kicks butt.  It’d be a chance to write a Green Lantern story without having to deal with Hal Jordan, who I’ve always felt was rather bland as a character.

Someone asked me, “How would I write a story with these characters to introduce them to the general public?”

It’s an interesting question.

Firstly, I’m not sure that’s even relevant.  Comic books are an insular medium at this point, and it’s rare for anyone to just decide to buy comics out of the blue.  Usually, they have friends who are comic book fans or have already been buying them for years.  The shrinking nature of the market is a big problem, but there seems to be no real effort to stop that at this point as comic companies continue to cater to diehard fans who are willing to catalogue decades of fake history in order to understand many stories.

But let’s just assume that I did get to write a comic book and that this would cause non-comic buying people to rush to the stores and purchase said comic.  It’s possible.  I do have fans.  I don’t know how many are eager to read a comic book I’ve helped write, but you never know.

The reason I find the question interesting is that I don’t see how writing a comic book with an established character would be any different than writing any other story I’ve written.  Since I have yet to write a sequel to anything, every story I create starts with the assumption that the reader won’t know anything going in.  That’s one of the things I love about writing original stories.  I don’t have to worry about excessive continuity or about balancing old fans with new.  Every book stands on its own.  Every book is a fresh start.

I would treat a comic book story in much the same way.  It’s true that established characters in established universes come with some baggage.  But I look at that as backstory.  It might shape and influence the character, but it shouldn’t be necessary to understand the history of everything a character has done to enjoy whatever story they are taking part in now.  As I said, neither Squirrel Girl or Killowog have much backstory to begin with because they’re minor characters.  And that’s what I find so appealing about them.

Whether or not a character has a history, I think it’s a mistake to revel in that.  Tight comic book continuity is one of the reasons the medium is dying.  It’s called continuity lockout at www.tvtropes.org and it’s a very real danger with any kind of ongoing story or universe.  Especially in comic books superheroes, where literally decades of history can be found on so many characters.

Good writing should seek to transcend continuity.  It shouldn’t rely on a fannish devotion to previous works.  There’s nothing wrong with a continuity nod here and there.  And characters with long histories can have layered and interesting stories told about them.  But the second a reader has to look up reference material to understand what you’ve written (not just to add to their enjoyment of it) is the second you’ve failed as a writer.  Usually.  These aren’t hard and fast rules, folks.  Novelology is a soft science.

Have a happy Thanksgiving, gang.

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

This was a few years back when the original Iron Man movie was about to come out.  Or maybe it had just come out.  Little hazy on the details, but I remember that some tenative steps were taken between me and a publisher to write an Iron Man novel.  It wasn’t going to be an adaptation, but rather, an original story.  I even wrote and submitted an outline.

I don’t quite remember the exact details of the story I had in mind, but I know it revolved around espionage, both corporate and governmental, and attempts to recover a lost alien robot.  The robot, for those who have enough of a knowledge of the Marvel universe to even care, was an inactive Kree Sentry.  Basically, I imagined an Indiana Jones style story where Tony Stark has an adventure, foils the bad guys, fights the reactivated Sentry.  Also, Iron Man’s love interest was going to be a Skrull spy in disguise.

The deal stalled, and I don’t remember why.  Just sort of sputtered to a halt.  It happens.  Still, it would’ve been cool, I think.

I was also approached once to write a Brutal Legend novel.  That fell apart quickly though, and I didn’t get nearly as past the tenative stages.  While I wasn’t a fan of the game (how could I be?  It wasn’t even out yet.), it might’ve been fun.

The near-adaptation I bemoan most though is the Heroscape novel I might have written.  This one was purly my idea, and my agent even went so far as to approach the right people and express my interest.  Regrettably, that interest wasn’t reciprocated.  No one with the power to authorize such a thing seemed to think there was a demand for a novel based on one of the greatest board games ever.  Too bad because I guarantee my Heroscape novel would’ve been amazing.

But thinking about these potential projects, I can’t say I’m disappointed that they didn’t work out.  The money would’ve been nice, and while it might have been cool, it would have been work for hire with no real control over how it came out.

I’ve never really understood people who aspire to write Superman, Batman, or some other character not of their own creation.  I understand doing it.  I even understand enjoying it.  It can be fun to play in someone else’s sandbox and enjoy their toys.  But in the end, those toys will never be yours.  You’re just borrowing them for a short while.  Of course, if you’re an aspiring comic book writer, you really don’t have much choice.

Even more troublesome to me is the invention of an original character that you surrender all control over.  Steve Gerber had this problem with Howard the Duck.  He had very little control over Howard, and he only wrote Howard stories if Marvel allowed it.  I’m not villainizing Marvel for that.  You know the deal when you write for Marvel (or DC).  Yet making that deal is usually easier than living with it.

Two of my favorite new superhero characters, Blue Beetle (DC) and Gravity (Marvel), currently languish in editorial disinterest.  Blue Beetle’s comic was one of the last ongoing titles I enjoyed.  After its cancellation, he was moved to Teen Titans, and as much as I wanted to like that comic, I just don’t have any interest in any of the other Teen Titans.

Gravity had a terrific debut miniseries, and then…he just sort of vanished.  Gone.  He’s coming back, this time in a team comic.  But again, I doubt I’ll have enough interest in the rest of the team to care.

I find it tremendously annoying, and I’m just a fan of these characters.  I can’t imagine being the creator behind them, having lost any creative control over them, not even being able to ensure that they will get any real exposure at all.  Even worse, there’s the very real threat that someone somewhere will decide to kill or maim these characters in the service of more popular characters.  Either that, or just disappear into obscurity.  Either fate sounds lousy.

I’ve had a few books optioned for film, and it’s certain that however these films turn out, I’m cool with.  But that’s because my characters and my stories will still exist.  The movies might be very similar.  Or they might be entirely different.  But the books, the original characters and worlds, will still exist.  No one is going to write a dark and gritty reboot of Gil’s All Fright Diner or the Mack Megton story where zombie cannibals attack Empire City.  Not on my watch.  Not as long as I have a say so.

Although if Marvel came to me and asked me to write a Devil Dinosaur or Man-Thing story, I’d be up for it.  And if DC ever gave me the green light to write a Kilowog . . . well, that ain’t going to happen.

But it’d be awesome if it did.

Fighting the good fight, writing the good write,

Lee

Here’s a list of things I’d like to throw out there to the powers-that-be in the comic book publishing world.  It’s a list of challenges.  Does anyone care what this humble novelologist has to say about the comic book world?  Probably not.  But it’s something I had on my mind and just thought I’d throw it out there.  Consider it a comic book fan’s manifesto.  Or should I say former fan?  Either way, let’s get to it.

BRING BACK SOME GOOD GUYS:

Perhaps the most troubling element of modern comic books is the near complete lack of good guys.  Remember the days when Wolverine and the Punisher were the edgy heroes.  Now they’re positively family-friendly.  Marvel, in particular, is guilty of this sin.  They’ve systematically replaced nearly every hero with a “dark” equivalent.  And, yes, dark is even the word they’re using.

This is truth in advertising.  Most of the heroes of the Marvel Universe are real assholes at this point.  Not just reckless or bloodthirsty, but downright vicious and cruel.  Witness the new Dark Ms. Marvel pluck a complete stranger from his bed, talk to him for a few minutes, and than casually toss him away to his death with no regard.  (Worse is how often this sort of thing is played for humor in the new Marvel U.)

Remember when heroes had noble ideals?  Remember when they fought for the common good?  Remember when “flawed” heroes didn’t necessarily mean “psychotic?”

Yeah, me neither.

I’m not suggesting getting rid of these dark characters, but if you could happen to give me someone to root for once in a while…well that’d be a nice change of pace. That’s all I’m saying.

ENOUGH WITH THE DEATH

In general, I think death is a cheap gimmick, a tool in a writer’s kit that should be used sparingly in order to keep it interesting.  Especially in ongoing universes.  Ideally, death should be used when it has the most impact, when it really counts for something.

And that’s a problem in the world of comic books because NOBODY stays dead.  I don’t care how noble the death, how trivial the character, EVERYBODY comes back to life eventually.  It’s just the way it is, and every comic book fan knows it.  Heck, at this stage every comic book character knows it.

So death in comic books means nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Barbara Gordon, the original Batgirl ,was shot in the spine.  She still can’t walk.  But if she’d been shot in the face, rushed to the hospital, and pronounced dead, she’d probably be up and around by now, back to fighting crime.  Yes, in the world of comics getting maimed is more permanent and disabling than dying.  And I can accept that.

Just don’t expect me to get worked up about it anymore.  When Marvel killed Captain America recently, nobody in the comic reading world really gave a crap.  And why should they?  They all knew he would come back, and probably sooner than later.  So as much as they love putting those covers with the blood splattered shield or the new “dark” Cap, nobody out here gives a damn.

The same thing goes for Batman, DC.  We all know Bruce Wayne isn’t dead.  So stop pretending like The Battle for the Cowl will have any long term consequences.

And speaking of consequences…

STOP PRETENDING THE STATUS QUO WILL CHANGE

We know it’s not.  We know that Peter Parker will always be Spider-Man and that Spider-Man will never be loved by the general public.  (Despite the fact that there’s no real reason for him to be a pariah in a world full of superhuman heroes)  We all know that if Superman loses his powers, he will get them back.  And no matter how many times the X-Men save the universe, they will always be “misunderstood”.

The writers should try to remember this too.  Perhaps it might stop them from writing stories that “change everything!”  Spider-Man’s mask comes off.  Whoop-dee-doo.  (Although it’s sadly pathetic to resort to having the Devil magic everything back to normal as the only way to fix the problem.)  So instead of trying to shock us with stories we all know will never stick, how about just thrill us with stories that are worth reading because they’re well written?  Just a suggestion.

Now to a few more specific suggestions:

SUPERMAN:

Listen, DC, we all know that Superman came from another world that blowed up real good.  That’s his backstory.  It’s simple.  It works.  It doesn’t need to be more than that.   Superman may have been born on Krypton, but he looks like a human, he’s lived 95 percent of his life as a human, and his morality is human.  So stop digging into Krypton as a way to “humanize” the man of steel.  Just let Krypton die.

Also, there’s absolutely no need to explore Superman’s early years anymore.  None.  It seems like every few years someone comes along and writes the “definitive” Superman origin.  But how often do we need to hear this?  More importantly, what’s new to be done with it?  Nothing, that’s what.

No more super-knockoffs.  Superman is special because he’s unique.  It’s not that he’s a powerhouse.  The DC universe is full of powerhouses.  What makes Superman fun (what makes ALL superheroes fun) is that they’re each their own distinctive gimmick.  This is why there’s not 10,000 Green Arrows running around, even though you would imagine there are probably lots of guys who can shoot a bow and arrow.  This is why Iron Man doesn’t just make 1,000 armored suits and create his own private army of superheroes.

So Supergirl?  Get rid of her.  Drop her in Kryptonite acid.  Have her eat some bad tuna.  I don’t know.  Figure it out.  She’s not a bad character.  She’s more of a bad idea, and she’s always been a bad idea.  ALWAYS.  Because Supergirl’s mere existence makes Superman seem commonplace.

Yeah, even Krypto the superdog needs to go.  And I hate saying that because I LOVE Krypto.

GREEN LANTERN

Get rid of all the multi-colored rainbow of Lanterns you’ve created.  I know this will never happen, of course.  But I can dream.   Because as cool as some people might think the idea is, I have to say it destroys any interesting aspect of the character for me.

We’ve always known that there was more than one Green Lantern in the universe.  That never bothered me.  But I always imagined the Lanterns as a Texas Rangers in Space! kind of thing.  Always outnumbered, always with their back to the wall, having incredible powers but having to deal with a lot of crap at the same time.

Instead, we’ve discovered the the Lanterns are more of an intergalactic police force with thousands of members.  And suddenly, the Conservation of Ninjitsu kicks in.  There’s only so much badass to go around, and with that many power rings floating around the universe, it gets spread pretty thin.  More often than not, when we meet a new Green Lantern, it’s just to watch them get their ass kicked.  So get rid of most of these guys.  (You don’t have to kill ‘em.  Just stop shoving in our face so much.)

With the addition of the Rainbow Coalition of Lanterns, the effect is even more pronounced.  At times, it seems like everyone is a Lantern.  Maybe they give the rings out in Cracker Jack boxes.  I dunno.  Don’t care.  Just get rid of ‘em.

Remember when Sinestro was the ultimate badass?  It was because there was ONE of him.  And the Green Lanterns knew that he was someone you didn’t want to screw with.  But now that there’s hundreds of Yellow Lanterns, Sinestro is just another face in the crowd, and that’s a real shame.

BATMAN

Don’t get me started.

BOOSTER GOLD

Ditch the “time guardian” angle.  It stinks, and here’s why it stinks.

Booster cannot change anything, and we know it.  His enemies cannot change anything, and we know it.  You can come up with all manner of techno-babble, time-travel nonsense to explain it, but bottom line: you aren’t going to retcon comic book history in a Booster Gold comic.  Ain’t gonna happen.

So everything in a Booster Gold “time guardian” story is a foregone conclusion.  Will Booster be able to save Barbara Gordon from the Joker?  No, of course not.  Will evil time travelers erase Superman from the timestream?  I’m just gonna take a wild guess and say no on this one too.

You’ve neutered both your hero and your villain in one fell swoop.  And that’s why it stinks.

SUPERGIRL

Did I mention you should kill Supergirl?  Because I just wanted to mention it again.

Conversely, you could try making the character more interesting with better stories, but let’s be honest…that isn’t going to happen.  So just kill her and put her and us out of our misery.

And lest you think Marvel escaped my wrath:

GRAVITY

Do something with this guy.  Something good.  Something fun.  He’s a good kid.  He deserves to find an audience.

SLAPSTICK

Nobody cares about Slapstick.  Nobody but me.  So if you could make a Slapstick comic book (even a mini-series) I promise to buy it.  Really, I do.

MARVEL ZOMBIES

Hey, remember that first mini-series?  That one that was surprisingly good even if it should’ve been a terrible idea.  That was great.  Better than it had any right to be.

The rest…not so much.

I know you’re making money off of this, so I don’t expect you to listen to me.  And I don’t even know if I’m right.  All I know is that this is an idea that burned itself out almost immediately, and while it might be fun to do zombie-themed parodies of all your classic covers, you don’t have to bother wrapping it around a bad comic.  Just make the covers and sell those.  People will buy ‘em, I’m sure.

SENTRY

Without a doubt, this is the worst character in the Marvel U.  He needs to go.

WOLVERINE

Remember that stuff I said about Superman and Green Lantern?  All that stuff applies here.  Wolverina started out as a joke in What the…?, the Marvel humor comic.  Now she’s a real character.  “Dark” Wolverine is Wolverine’s “dark” son!  There are simply too many characters running around with claws and healing factors, and the longer this goes on, the less we’re going to care.

NORMAN OSBORNE

He’s not Lex Luthor, no matter how much you try and convince us he is.  So every time he’s sitting in a pow wow with Loki or Dr. Doom, you should just have one of them disintegrate him and be done with it.

STOP BEING THE PUNCHLINE TO YOUR OWN JOKES

Wolverina was a joke.  She was a joke you invented, Marvel.  And then you went and tried to make her serious.

“Dark Reign”?  Really?  This is the title you chose for your big crossover event because “dark” comics aren’t a cliche or anything.  Maybe that crap played better in the 90′s, but now, it just seems silly.  Grrr.  We’re dark!

Okay, I guess that’s it.  I could go on, but if you’ve made it this far, you probably are just hoping I’ll shut up.

So that’s that.  A list of requests that nobody important will read, and will never happen.  But I put it out there.  I did my part.  The rest is subject to the whims of the universe.

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee