I like to play this game where actors get to carry over their powers and abilities from multiple roles, to imagine a fantasy land where avatars of entertainers become embodiments of the cultural collective that spawned them.
In this realm, Hugh Jackman is an accomplished stage magician who excells at hunting vampires and has a healing factor and adamantium claws.
Christian Bale is a master of the gun kata with all the skills and capabilities of Batman. Although, since Batman is his more popular role, he never actually uses the gun kata. Also, he can fight Terminators and he’s just a pinch psychotic (or maybe he just imagined that stuff). He’s also a skilled stage magician.
Edward Norton killed a pedophile priest, went to prison where he became a reformed racist until accidental exposure to a gamma bomb gave him the power to Hulk out! Also, a skilled stage magician.
Angelina Jolie is a double-agent / supernatural assassin / mother of dragons. (But not a stage magician)
Samuel L. Jackson is head of a spy agency that employs superheroes. He’s also pretty handy with a lightsaber. And every plane he gets on . . . snakes! And boy has he had it with them.
David Hasselhoff is also head of a spy agency. The very same agency, in fact, as Samuel Jackson. Obviously, one is a decoy, but we may never know which. In his spare time, Hasselhoff drives from beach to beach in his indestructible talking car and offers his lifeguard services. Also, he can fight vampires if he has to. (How I miss thee, Baywatch Nights.)
Adam West is Batman. And that’s about it, but isn’t that more than enough? His batoosie puts Christian Bale to shame.
Elijah Wood is a fuzzy little guy who fights orcs when he isn’t busy cannibalizing prostitutes or saving the world from high school aliens.
Arnold Schwartzennegar is a robot sent from the future who worships Crom. He’ll also kick the Devil’s ass. He can also get pregnant, which probably doesn’t come in handy that often, but I suppose it can’t hurt.
Anna Paquin has the ability to absorb people’s powers, telepathy, and she’s dating a vampire.
And on and on it goes.
The natural question is to ask who would win in a fight? It’s not an easy answer. I suppose you could cheat and just say Billy Crudup because he played Dr. Manhattan and you can’t get much more omnipotent than that. Except for maybe George Burns and Morgan Freeman and all the other actors who have played God. Although God isn’t always the same in every story, and you have to figure some movie versions of the supreme being are more powerful than others.
Could the God from Time Bandits beat the God from Dogma? In a three way cage match between David Warner, Alanis Morrissette, and Liam Neeson who would reign? Okay, so Neeson has only played Zeus so far, but he was the big guy of his mythological film. And he was also Darkman and Hannibal, so that’s gotta be worth a few extra points.
If you threw all the James Bonds into a pit and had them fight it out, who would you bet on? I’m a Timothy Dalton fan, myself, but you can’t ignore Connery, who would benefit from his time as Robin Hood. Also, by the rules of the game, he’d be immortal and that could be an unfair advantage. Although Moore would probably have some kind of convenient laser watch or buzzsaw bowtie at his disposal.
What I’d like to see most would be every actor who has ever played Dracula in the arena. Lugosi would be at a disadvantage, but he’d probably have an edge over George Hamilton. But at least Hamilton would have access to Zorro’s flair. Then again, so would Antonio Banderas. Although he was just a vampire, not THE vampire. So he probably wouldn’t be allowed into the rumble. I’d have to give it to Christopher Lee though because, considering the number of times he played Drac, that has to add up to something.